The Justification Of Broken Hearts
by Wandering Dawn
Summary: Justification is a very dangerous thing in Teddy Lupin's mind. He knew exactly how to justify anything. Especially the breaking of young hearts. lilyteddy multi-chaptered
1. Chapter 1

**AN; new Teddy/ Lily story, a muilti chaptered one this time :) i hope i don't dissappoint. reviews are muchly appreciated guys! **

There was one thing about Lily Potter that everyone could tell just from looking at her. She didn't express herself very often. She was considered incredibly plain and incredibly natural. Incredibly beautiful, but not in the standoutish way. She was much more the girl next door. Not the girl you'd pick out of a line up but not a girl you'd totally disregard either. The thing that Teddy loved about her was that she was incredibly quite, quite content to sit around reading a book in a pair of cut off denim shorts, a t-shirt and barefooted around her house. She was incredibly simple when it came to clothes, makeup, jewellery even feelings. She never expressed anger, or hurt or pain. She kept incredibly quiet when around boys she thought were cute and more often than not she just kept herself to herself.

It was for this very reason that when a dark black symbol appeared on her milky white skin, marring the perfect beauty of it that Teddy felt incredible surprise and a little bit of apprehension. He could not, for the life of him, figure out why the inexpressive simple girl would get a tattoo. Indeed the tattoo it's self was simple enough, just a simple infinity symbol with the word love curling around the bottom corner of it. But it was still the most expressive thing he had ever seen associated with Lily Potter.

"You got a tattoo?" he observed as they stood at the burrow, watching everyone mingle about, sniggering as Louis was set about chasing after the girl who clearly had no interest in him. She nodded turning to pull her hair back to expose her neck to him.

"Do you like it?" she asked with a soft smile.

Teddy nodded eagerly. "It's cute. It's nice to see you a little more... expressive for a change." She blushed a little with a small thankyou. "Here," he said, pressing a glass of firewhiskey into her hands. "Let loose a little, it's your twenty second birthday! You deserve to have a little fun!" Chuckling softly at him she nodded, taking a drink of the hot liquid, grimacing when it burnt her throat. Teddy chuckled softly at her reaction. "You'll get more used to it as you get more drunk." At his insistence to drink more, Lily found herself consuming a good four glasses of the Amber liquid before finding Teddy once again, leaning against a wall before staggering over to him.

"Soooo Teddy Bear! When do I get my birthday kiss?" her words laced together, merging into one long word, much to Teddy's amusement. A little drunk himself he chuckled at her before leaning over and pressing a soft kiss to her cheek. "Nooo! That's cheating! I want a proper kiss!" she leant forward and captured his lips in a sloppy kiss, much to Teddy's surprise. He pulled back a little, smiling amusedly down at her.

"I think someone has had quite enough to drink," he said, taking her glass away from her. at her staggered insistence that she was 'perfectly sober' he chuckled even more and took her hand in his before pulling her over to Harry. "Harry, I'm gonna take her home and put her to bed. Apparently, first time drinkers get far too sick and stupid," he said with an amused glance to his daughter.

"I told you, Ted. I'm perfectly sober!" she said, wagging a finger in his face, leaning heavily into his side.

Harry gave them an amused glance before nodding. "Do me a favour, Ted, and stay with her the night. If she throws up it would be better for her to not be alone in her apartment. Lysander went home hours ago to take care of his brother so he's kinda out of the question. I know you probably had plans with Vic but... well... look at her," he gestured to Lily who was now staring up his hair commenting to herself how it was a lovely shade of blue now.

Teddy chuckled nodding, taking the red head by the hand and apparating her to her apartment after Harry promised to let Victoire, his wife, know where he was. As soon as he apparated them into her apartment it seemed far too much for the young girl's stomach as she promptly bent over and threw up straight into the toilet. Teddy thanked Merlin he thought to apparate straight into her bathroom. Once she had finished emptying her stomach of alcohol and food he helped her wash her mouth out and brush her teeth ready for bed.

Upon setting her on her bed he turned to grab her pyjamas from a drawer in her wardrobe and turned back to help her undress. Pulling off her shoes and beginning to unzip her white dress she gave an uncharacteristic giggle whilst exclaiming, "Teddy's gonna see me naked!" The exclamation it's self seemed to send her into a fit of giggles, making it hard to get her to stand in order to take her dress off.

"Technically, Lils, I'm going to see you in your underwear. Now please, stand up so I can put your pyjamas on!" Obediently she stood up, still in her fit of giggles and Teddy managed to take off her dress. "Right, arms up, top first." Giggling again, Lily held her arms up above her head, watching as he grabbed her vest top and began to pull it over her head.

"Teddy, can I have my proper birthday kiss now?" she asked, with wide puppy dog eyes. "Lysander hasn't given me a kiss all day and it's my birthday!" she pouted a little, making Teddy chuckle as he took a hold of her pyjama bottoms.

"I suppose one kiss won't hurt. We can't have you going your whole birthday without a kiss now can we?" he asked with an amused grin. Leaning down he softly captured her lips with his, giving her a sweet kiss. Her arms were suddenly around his neck as he found he could not pull away when he tried to. Her lips were suddenly very hard and demanding upon his as he tried to push her away slightly. "Lily," he said sternly. "We can't do this. It can't happen."

"Yes we can," she said simply, all reason gone from her mind as the incredibly intoxicated girl looked up at young werewolf in such a way that he indeed found himself becoming intoxicated with her. Staring up at him again she attacked his lips hungrily, only this time, he felt much less inclined to pull away from the beautiful red head, even when she pulled him down onto the bed on top of her. So many reasons filled his head as to why he shouldn't do it. But the one reason that should have made him pull away drove him further on. Victoire. He knew his wife was 'out with the girls' tonight. He also knew that 'out with the girls' meant 'shagging some random bloke'. If there was one thing that should have made Teddy pull away from the beautiful red head under him it was the blonde in the forefront of his mind. It just so happened that he knew the blonde was doing exactly the same as him. Which, oddly, made him feel better about it.

Justification was a dangerous thing in Teddy Lupin's mind. It allowed him to come up with an excuse for everything. As he stared at the tattoo on his little godsister's bare back his mind was reeling with justifications. She was drunk, she didn't know what she was doing and would probably forget it by the morning. His wife was out screwing around so why couldn't he? It didn't matter that she was his godsister because they weren't technically related, they would both keep it a secret so it wouldn't hurt anybody.

Yes, justification was a dangerous thing in Teddy Lupin's mind because he knew exactly how to justify anything. He knew what excuses would put his mind at ease and he also knew that, no matter how many times you tried to justify something it would always bite you in the ass.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN; some warnings of lime and adult themes in this chapter. but still incredibly cute lily/teddy bonding :) **

It turns out that once he was able to justify it once, it happened again and again. That was the funny thing about justification. The same excuses could come up time and time again. So, when stood in the garden of the Potter household, sipping firewhiskey in the late summer air he could justify the way he was checking out his godsister. He could justify the way in which he grinned widely at her smile, at how he felt all the blood rush below the belt when he saw her crouch onto her knees to find her lost earring, completely forgetting the joys of being a witch and being able to summon it, something which, much to his chagrin, she was reminded of by her brother.

And he could definitely justify his sudden urge to kick Lysander's head in when he saw him grab her ass. He was her godbrother. They had been close ever since they were young. Of course he was going to feel incredibly protective over her. She was Lily. Lilly Lily Potter, girl next door with not an expressive bone in her body. Except, she wasn't Little Lily anymore. She had grown up and she had certainly become more... expressive. He smirked when he remembered that she had told him she had not done that with Lysander yet. In fact, that she had not done that with anyone up until two weeks ago. He felt oddly proud to be the person she trusted to give him that, despite the circumstances. But again, he could justify it. So it didn't matter.

When the end of the night came and Lily and Lysander said goodbye Teddy couldn't help but think Lily looked rather dejected and upset when Lysander had apparated out of the Potter's garden. "What's up, Lils?" he asked after walking to her side, realising that she had tears in her eyes. She grabbed his hand and apparrated to her apartment before sitting down on the couch.

"Am I ugly, Ted?"

He stared at her unblinkingly for a few seconds in astonishment that she would ever ask such a question. Apparently this was the wrong thing to do however as she promptly burst into tears a few moments afterwards. "Oh my god, you think so too!"

"W-What? Lily, no. No. You are not ugly in the slightest. What ever would make you think that?" She shrugged as she stared down at her lap, her hands knotting together under her scrutiny. "Lily, look at me." He took her chin gently in his fingers and pulled her face up to look at him, ever so sweetly. "Is this because of Lysander?" what she nodded in affirmative his hair turned a rather nasty shade of crimson. "What did he say to you?"

"I – I asked him to come over and stay the night and he told me he didn't want to. When I asked why he just shrugged, looking me up and down. I don't understand what's wrong with me."

Taking a deep breath Teddy wrapped an arm around her shoulders protectively and kissed the top of her head. "Nothing is wrong with you, Lils. Trust me, you're perfect just the way you are. If Lysander can't see that then screw him. You deserve to be with someone who makes you feel beautiful every day, not someone who makes you feel like you're ugly or like there's something wrong with you. You don't deserve to feel anything less than beautiful because that's exactly what you are."

"Then why do I not feel beautiful? Why has no one apart from my family ever told me that I'm beautiful or even pretty?"

"Because they're stupid. They can't see what's right in front of them. Trust me, Lily, you are one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen. And there's a lot to say for that given my playboy reputation at Hogwarts." He smiled teasingly at her as she managed a small smile back. He sighed taking her hand and pulling her towards the mirror on the mantelpiece, making her look at herself. "Look, you have a wonderful heart shaped face with almost perfect symmetry, a cute button nose with full lips and almond shaped eyes that are the deepest shade of emerald green ever. Your hair is a beautiful shade of auburn that is darker than anyone else in your family and your skin is almost perfect in complexion. I've never seen a spot or a blemish on your face since you were thirteen and you don't even have to wear makeup because you look like a natural English rose. Pure and beautiful."

"Every rose has it's thorns though."

Sighing Teddy brushed her hair to the side to reveal her tattoo to him again. Smiling softly at it he commented, "The only thorn you have is the one in my side when you don't believe me when I tell you just how beautiful you are."

She giggled softly as she stared at him in the mirror. "Thankyou, Ted." He shook his head in despair.

"No need to thank me, Lils. I just wanted to show you just how silly you're being. If Lysander ever makes you feel anything less than perfect, you tell me okay. I will give him a lesson or two in chivalry." She nodded smiling brightly as she turned to him and slowly leant in to give him a kiss on the lips. He sighed contently, blood rushing below the belt as he remembered the other night again, even though this particular kiss was much gentler and a lot less sloppy with drunkenness it still made him weak at the knees, even in a perfectly sober mindset.

She pulled away to stare at him for a moment before he leant in for another soft kiss. His hand trailed from her side up over her shoulder blade to grasp the back of her neck gently and run a hand over the symbol residing there. Closing her eyes she sighed contently before pulling away from him and staring up at him again.

"We shouldn't do this. What about Victoire? Or Lucas? Teddy, you have a son, this isn't fair to either of them." Teddy looked down in shame at the mention of his son, Lucas.

"Don't ruin the moment," he whispered before capturing her lips in his again, consequences be damned. After all, it's easily justifiable. He wants to make her feel beautiful. This is the easiest way to do so.

When he took out his Polaroid camera moments later after managing to undress her, Lily looked distinctly more worried. He chuckled at the wary expression she was giving the camera before snapping a picture of her. "TED!" she squeeked, trying to cover herself up for modesty. Teddy grinned pulling out the photo that developed moments later giving it a quick wave around to dry the ink he handed it to her with a smile on his face.

"See, I told you you were beautiful." He watched as the camera played her watching the camera with an adorably worried expression on her face before her eyes widened and she ran off to the edge of the frame, only sticking her head around to cover up her modestly. She chuckled at her photo softly before handing it back to him. He shook his head. "You keep it, we're gonna do a few more, some... less candid ones."

"Kinky," she observed with a smile.

"No, Lils, I'm trying to make you realise that you are incredibly beautiful, all you need is a little confidence." He sat her on the bed making her cross her legs and use her hands to help cover her up a little more before ruffling her hair slightly and snapping another picture of her with a smile. He handed her the shot as it developed and gave her a quick peck on the cheek, snapping another picture of the effortless smile that graced her features at the picture. Again, he gave her the developed picture, this time only containing her face and shoulders with an easy smile and bright eyes.

Her mouth fell open a little at the natural photo. "Wow..."

"If you do say so yourself," Teddy chuckled teasingly. "See, you are perfect in so many ways, Lily. You have a beautiful smile and look, oh so sexy with your hair slightly ruffled like that." She chuckled softly, still with the same smile on her face. She kissed his lips again softly, reaching to set down the pictures. Holding the camera away from them he snapped another photo, just as Lily turned to look at the camera. Taking out the developed photo they grinned happily at it as it showed them both kissing before she looked at the camera with a slightly dazed look and he stared down at her foreheads still touching, with a loving expression on his face. "Well, you can't say we don't look pretty damn good. Or pretty damn sexy." Lily nodded in agreement before taking the camera and photo off him, setting it down on the bedside table and kissing him again, allowing herself to get lost in the moment. He allowed her to pull them down onto the bed and finish undressing him.

**Reviews are love :) if only to encourage me to write the next few chapters that got eleted when my computer decided it would be funny to shut it's self down? blah. it was such a cute chapter too with wolfy teddy as a little fluffy puppy haha! **


	3. Chapter 3

**AN; Dedcated to BlehLupinRocks for giving me the drive to write more of this :) **

Sighing frustratedly the crimson haired man threw yet another rejection letter in the fire. "Ted, love. You okay?" He made a noise of frustration that show he was, in fact, not okay in the slightest. Sighing slightly the blonde haired woman came to sit beside him, staring into the flames of the fireplace being used to keep out the October chill. "Maybe you should just give up, just stay home and look after Lucas?"

Teddy laughed bitterly. "Great, I get to be a house husband who relies on his wife for money. Here you go darling, here's a galleon, don't spend it all at once!" He glared at the flames again before putting his head in his hands. "This is not why my parents died fighting, Vic. They fought for a better world and yet, still, here we stand thirty two years later and prejudice is still as bad if not worse than it was before the war. I'm sick of this all I want is a job, a chance to earn a fricking income and do what I went to Hogwarts to do! I have so much knowledge of defence and spells and dark arts and charms and healing and yet no one is giving me a god damn chance!"

Victoire sighed softly. "Maybe you should try to be self employed, Ted."

"And do what? I don't want to be self employed because I don't have the brilliance for it! I don't have the thirst for business or the right skills to be able to set one up. All I want is to be a healer. It's all I've ever wanted ever since I was a little kid and the people at St Mungo's treated me after a particularly bad full moon. I looked up to them! I wanted to be them and this is what I get? Rejection after rejection both from Mungo's and the Ministry and even little private firms! I can't even get a muggle job because it'd lead to too many questions about why I'm off so much or why I have new scars every month!"

"You're not even trying, Ted! Why don't you ask Harry for a job, or George or even Ron? I'm sure they'd be happy to give you a job at the joke shop."

"I DONT WANT A JOB AT THE GOD DAMN JOKE SHOP!"

"You're not even trying, Ted!" she yelled back at him, getting angry and upset with him. "You say you want a job oh so desperately but you won't even turn to your family to help you! Harry would attempt to pull some strings in ten seconds flat and George could use someone to run his shop in Diagon Alley whilst he goes and opens up another one near Godric's Hollow. You're just being a stubborn git and you know it! Stop freaking getting yourself down and just deal with what you've got and ASK FOR SOME GOD DAMN HELP!"

"DID IT EVER OCCUR TO YOU I'D ALREADY ASKED AND EVEN THEY SAID NO?" Victoire gaped at him for a moment, opening and closing her mouth as she tried to think of something to say as she stared at the crimson hair and red face of her husband. "Did it ever occur to you," he said in a lower voice, "that I would already have a job if it were that simple?"

Teddy stood up, sending Victoire a nasty look before going to grab his shoes and winter cloak. At her askance of where he was going at eleven o'clock at night his simple reply of 'out' was all he gave her before taking off down the street to the alley down the road that he used as an apparation point. He was happy to see the leaky caldron filled with people when he walked up to the bar and asked for a glass of firewhiskey, downing it in one go when it was placed upon the bar in front of him. He motioned for another one whilst the bartender eyed him curiously. He also became aware of several other people watching the werewolf as he downed another glass. Feeling paranoid he disappeared off to the bathroom to check his reflection. He turned his hair from red to brown and morphed over the small cut that had appeared on his cheek from splinching himself.

He considered changing his appearance all together. After all, it would help with people not recognising him, and so probably would condone to less prejudice staring and judging. But for some reason, he could not bring himself to morph out of the face the reminded him so much of his father when he was Teddy's age. This was, after all, his true face. It held parts of both his mother and father in it and he was proud to be associated with them. Hell, he was even proud to be associated with werewolves because that's what his father was. He just wished that the rejection would leave society. It's only wrong when someone labels it as wrong, and that someone is the Ministry and their stupid pure-blooded laws and prejudices, despite the attempt to revoke them. It just wasn't fair, Teddy concluded.

Walking back out of the bathroom he went back to the bar and ordered another few drinks before setting down a couple of galleons on the bar and walking out around midnight. Effectively staggering the wizard pulled out his wand and apparated to the first place in which he could think of. Once there he staggered towards the door, knocking loudly. Smiling manically to the girl who opened the door. "HEYA LILS!" he called waltzing into the apartment. Lily stared at him for a moment wide eyed before recovering and shutting the door.

After muttering a quick silencing charm she rounded on him. "Teddy what the hell are you doing here at this time? And why are you so drunk? You know I have work in the morning!"

Teddy laughed to himself in a sarcastically bitter way. "Ah work, how lovely it must be to be able to provide for yourself and not have to rely upon others. Tell me, Lils. How does that feel?"

"You got rejected again, didn't you?"

"HA! Rejected, slandered, slaughtered. I mean really after that letter they might as well just send a killing curse straight at me and hang me from the top of the ministry with a big sign that says, 'Fuck me all you want, I'm totally open and I'll just take it because it's all I'm good for!'"

Resisting the urge to laugh at that comment Lily sat down on the place on the couch next to him before placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Isn't this something you should be talking to Vic about?"

"Tried. We rowed, again."

Lily sighed before pulling his hand to make him stand up. "Okay, c'mon Mr. Self – Sacrificing – Open –To-All. Let's get you to bed. You can sleep off the drunken state and then there will be a hangover potion waiting for you in the morning."

"Mmm, bed sounds good," he said huskily, pulling her closer to him and kissing her upon the lips. Lily giggled pulling away from him.

"If you think you're gonna get it up when you're this drunk you've got another things coming. Besides, Lysander's here and I don't think he'd appreciate you hitting on his girlfriend." She gave him a pointed look at that, causing him to glare back at her. "Now, c'mon. Let's get you to the spare bedroom and get you off to sleep. You're gonna need it."

She managed to lead him to the bedroom and get him settled down on the pillows as she began to remove his cloak and boots, putting them to the side before starting on his shirt and jeans. She ignored his mutterings about Lysander not being good enough for her and pulled the sheets back allowing him to jump into bed. Almost as soon as his head had hit the pillow his eyes were closed and he was fast asleep. Lily smiled down at him softly, ruffling his hair a little before going back through to her bedroom where Lysander was waiting up for her.

"So I'm not good enough am I?" he said with a skeptical expression. "Why on earth would he get that idea?"

Lily rolled her eyes slowly. "Ly, he's drunk, he's my dad's godson, of course he's going to be protective of me. He feels like it's his duty because we were so close when I was growing up. Don't worry, he won't be replacing you any time soon if that's what you're worried about."

Lysander scoffed at her as she climbed into bed. "Why would I be worried about that? Of course no one is going to replace me cause we just got engaged." He grinned widely at her, which she returned with a small smile. He kissed her softly on the lips before pulling her closer and wrapped his arms around her. "You are happy with me aren't you?" She nodded staring at the ring he had given her. "Good, now get some sleep babe, you have an early start tomorrow and you can't be healing patients if you're tired." She smiled softly before snuggling down into Lysander's arms.

**Reviews are love :) please don't add to favourites unless you review, they spur me on so much more than that and they will make Lily be guilty and apologetic to Teddy :) **


	4. Chapter 4

**AN; Thankyou so much for the amazing reviews on the last chapter :) you guys really made me smile! and like i said, reviews make me update faster! i'm on a bit of a roll with my writing too, so i guess that helps haha **

**Enjoy guys and gals :) **

Upon awaking Teddy could feel his head banging as though a jackhammer had been inserted into it. Groaning and cursing his idea to drown his sorrows the night before the blue haired wizard sat up straight, putting his head in his hands. Upon hearing a giggle from the doorway he peeked over his eyes to look at the offending noise only to find Lily stood there with a glass full of green liquid in her hands. A large smile was upon her face as she stood there watching him bemusedly. He gave her a quick glare before shielding his eyes from the sunlight streaming through the curtains.

"Okay, Lils, I'm off. I'll see you tonight, then we can start work on packing up your apartment." Lily nodded, trying not to let her smile fall. Lysander kissed her softly on the lips before giving a nod to Teddy and walking off. Lily waited until the door had slammed shut before letting her smile drop instantly. Sighing she went to give the potion to Teddy before sitting down on the bed.

"What's wrong?" Teddy asked, quickly downing his potion, happy when his hangover instantly disappeared. Lily shrugged looking out of the window at a nest of birds. "Lily," Teddy said warningly.

Sighing she looked down at her hands, a habit she was fast beginning to develop. "I don't wanna move out of here. I'm not ready. I love this apartment." She looked down at her ring, extending her hand to stare at it again. "I also wish I hadn't said yes to this. He seems to think the shortest engagement possible is a good idea."

Teddy's eyes widened before narrowing at the offending object adorning her finger. "Let me get this right, three months ago you asked me if you were ugly because of Lysander and it took me a good three hours to make you realise that you were, in fact, incredibly beautiful and now you're marrying the same guy who is so insecure wants to whisk you off to his house and get married to you as soon as possible because he's too damn insecure that you're gonna leave him?" Lily nodded slowly, still staring ashamedly down at the ring. "Are you fricking kidding me, Lils? You're not happy with him, why are you putting yourself through this?"

"Because I'm fed up of waiting around for you to realise just how much you want to do this with me!" she yelled before storming out of the room, tears falling from her eyes as she slammed the door shut. Teddy stared after her open mouthed. Sighing he got up and too the floo network home.

_I shouldn't be doing this. I really shouldn't be doing this. I'm engaged for Merlin's sake! _

Despite Lily's head trying to reason with her, her body just wouldn't let her listen as her hand unwillingly raised it's self to knock on the door of the house in front of her. her mind silently prayed that he wouldn't answer the door to her. of course, this was in vain as she couldn't help but allow the tears to fall from her eyes when she stared up at the distinctly angry expression on the turquoise haired man's face. Struggling for words Lily allowed her mouth to gape as she watched his expression turn from pure anger to pure confusion, back to pure anger. Noting the rather distinctive bags and dark circles under his eyes she whispered to him ever so softly, as if afraid he would suddenly yell at her.

"Full moon tonight?" At his resolute nod he turned away from her, walking back into the house leaving the door open for her to follow him. "Ted, wait. I – I'm sorry for this morning. It was out of order and it wasn't even the real reason. I was just annoyed and upset and confused... I just... I'm sorry." The words tumbled out of her mouth entirely on their own, apparently, she mused, her brain really was not connected to her body at that precise moment in time. Teddy, once again gave a small shrug as he set about making tea for two. "Are you okay, Ted?" she asked softly.

Suddenly Teddy's shoulders gave a huge lurch as he hunched forward over the kitchen counter. Soft sobbing came from his direction as his shoulders heaved up and down in time with the moans of despair. Instantly by his side Lily reached to put her arms around the wizard in comfort, serving as his literal shoulder to cry on. It was then she saw the piece of parchment sat upon the counter top. Gasping as she read over the note from Victoire.

"She's leaving you?" Lily asked, utterly appalled.

"Kicking me out more like... she flooed me, told me I have three days to clear out. She won't even let me see Lucas Lil. She said I can only see him when she sees fit!"

Gasping Lily made to march out of the room. "She can't do that! I'm talking to dad, we'll get you legal join custody, Ted."

Grabbing her arm he yanked her back towards him. "Yea, right. The only thing I'll get from the ministry is an all out ban on seeing him. I'm a werewolf, Lil. I'll never have the right to what normal people do. It doesn't matter what the hell she does, she could be abusing him and have a drinking problem and yet she'd still be chosen over me! I'm scum of the earth according to witches and wizards. If we do that I'll never see him again!"

Sighing Lily wrapped her arms around the older man, holding him tightly to her chest. Kissing away his still falling tears softly she whispered, "I'll get her to see sense then. I promise. She won't get away with that." Teddy shook his head before taking a large gulp of a half finished bottle of firewhisky before kissing her firmly on the lips, leading her quickly up the stairs, in desperate need to feel close to someone.

Her skin was on fire as his fingertips brushed across the back of her neck, moving her long silky red locks out of the way, revealing her tattoo to him. He kissed the small symbol embedded into her skin before trailing his lips further across the skin to her shoulder, leaving behind a blazing trail of fire behind them. Her skin felt alive as she cocked her neck to the side to allow him more access. Little goosebumps rose over her flesh wherever his skin touched her, sending jolts of pleasure through her skin. She shivered as his arms encircled her waist, closing her eyes against the sudden onslaught of emotions that resided within her.

She couldn't do this.

It was so wrong.

But it felt so right.

But it was her cousin's husband.

Son to be ex husband

And he was drunk.

But he's upset, he needs you.

Despite all the proverbial angels and devils residing on her shoulders, shouting profanities at each other, trying to sway her to their side, she ignored them and gave into her desires, still not opening her eyes in case she shattered the wonderful feeling coursing through her veins at that very moment. Pulling back she stared up at him in the eye. She saw the colours of his hair flicker between dark blue and black in her peripheral vision. Happiness and desire. Friendship and lust. His eyes screamed it all. He wanted this. He needed this. He needed her.

She was about to say something when he spoke softly, as if reading her mind. "Shh," he said softly, placing a calloused finger against her lips. "I want this as much as you do. I don't care about Victoire. She... she doesn't love me anymore. I know she doesn't. Please. Just for today, after this it won't ever happen again. I know you're engaged now but... Merlin, Lily, you're just too tempting. Please?" She relented with closed eyes and a slight nod of her head, her lips pouting slightly as they kissed his finger before he took it away and replaced it with his lips, wiping away her salty tears with his thumb.

She didn't understand why she was suddenly crying. Maybe it was the mention of Lysander, maybe it was the mention of Victoire. Maybe it was the thought that he was just using her to make himself feel better. Yes, that was definitely it. Because this wasn't like the day when he had told her she was beautiful and had taken pictures of her. This was rushed, his desire to feel loved and needed taking over his body rather than pure desire.

She didn't stay long, knowing she had to get back to her apartment before Lysander started looking for her. She didn't relent when he pulled her close, whispering sweet nothings in her ear, begging her to stay, just for a few moments. She didn't relent when he tried to pin her beneath him again, a swift jab to the ribs had caused him to roll away from her.

"Go back to your wife, for Lucas' sake" she had told him as he began to whimper, still begging her to stay. She wouldn't relent. She wouldn't. She was strong. He had a wife and a child who he needed to get back on good terms with. She was his forbidden fruit. His Juliet. His secret desire. The flame would burn out soon enough when he realises she had been a mistake. Because that's all she was. That's all they were. Each others hidden desires, each one's forbidden fruit, each one's darkest fantasy, finally played out. Now they could move on and that would be that, Lily decided as she grabbed her wand off the nightstand and disappeared from Teddy's view with a soft pop.

He sighed, feeling his eyes fill with tears as he realised that he probably wouldn't see her for a long time. After all, she wasn't his to hold, to love, to make love to. She was his. Lysander's. Not his.

**Reviews are love :) **


	5. Chapter 5

**AN; So you will probably be able to tell that i was incredibly upset whilst writing this chapter, so, unfortunately my characters suffered and i have changed the direction of the story sooner than i thought.. so it may not flow particularly well either. but i hope thats not too much of an issue right now. i'm sorry for the shortness also, but hey, i was pissed off and needed to write some violence and fear :) **

**enjoy! **

Letting go had not been easy for Teddy. Every time he saw her, every time he was required to go to the Potter house or the Burrow even every time he was slept, he was reminded of her, of her beauty, of her pain. He hated himself for it. He hated himself for hurting her. he hated himself more for sleeping beside Victoire every night, praying that when he opened his eyes he would see Lily. It was this reason that he was incredibly happy for the break when it came to the full moon. He was not like his father at the full moon, Teddy generally looked on the bright side when it came to his transformations. He would be able to sleep outdoors, look at the stars, go running and play around with some birds. In fact, when Teddy transformed, he was more like a dog than an actual wolf thanks to the modified version of the wolfsbane potion which not only allowed you to keep your human mind but also made you less dangerous to others by making both your teeth and claws less sharp, making your disposition like a soft playful puppy.

Bowtruckles, he had quickly found out, were has favourite thing to play with whilst he had transformed. He would chase them around the trees, plucking them from the branches and taking them in his jaws to shake a little, much like a puppy with it's toy or a fluffy pillow. He never hurt the creatures though, even when they clawed at his eyes once released from his bind. He simply just playfully snapped at them, allowing them to run a few feet ahead before catching them again. This particular bowtruckle, however, did not seem to get his game and continued to claw at his snout, it's long fingernails not breaking the skin but still making impact enough to make him sneeze multiple times. He shook his head, trying to make it go away before running off away from it, not thankful for its pursuit.

Once far enough away Teddy found himself next to a babbling brook, whining contently he laid down facing it, watching the current rush over the random rocks and dirt, listening to the soft tinkle of the stream.

Snap.

Teddy's head shot up as he heard the unmistakeable sound of a twig snapping. And it was close. Standing back up on all fours he looked around, searchingly, keeping all his heightened senses about him. The air was damp with the brook but there was a faint coppery smell in the air that Teddy recognised immediately from the few time he had managed to hurt himself during his transformations. Blood. Another twig snapping behind him caused his head to whip around again. He held back a whimper of fear when he smelt more blood, closer this time. The air was so still he didn't dare move in fear that if he did, the tension would be sliced and he would be attacked as he came face to face with not one but six wolves. All of which looked incredibly cannibalistic with their teeth and claws dripping red and their eyes bloodshot and deadly.

Backing away slightly he was surprised to find that there were several more wolves behind him. His blood ran cold at the realisation that hit him like a ton of bricks. He had run straight into a pack of werewolves. And they knew he was alone. They would be able to sense his fear. Teddy could tell, just by looking at them that they were feral wolves, nt under the influence of any potion to make their transformations easier. No, these were the kind who went around trying to contaminate others, to get them to join their pack. Just like Greyback did when he was alive.

Fear flooded through Teddy as they began to circle him, not leaving him any room for escape. A tiny whimper tore from his mouth and he could have sworn the saw the, obvious, leader smirk before lunging at him. Pinned to the floor with no hope of escape Teddy began to whimper and cry as the weight of the much larger wolf crushed him, a howl ripping from the larger wolfs mouth causing those around him to move in further and advance on the younger wolf. Feeling dread infiltrate every fibre of his being Teddy closed his eyes, moving his head to the side and awaiting his fate. His last though as multiple sets of teeth sunk into his flesh, pulling screaming howls from his throat, was Lily.

Her scent filled his nostrils, her red hair filling his vision, the memory of her soft tough drowning out the sharp jabs of pain from the other wolves' jaws. His vision swam, blackness invading it as he prayed the sun would come up soon. Or that death would take him. Either way, he wished to be away from them. He wished to be with Lily, sitting on her couch, her head resting on his chest with his arms wrapped around her small frame. Lily. His Lily. Fuck Lysander, fuck Victoire. She was his, and she always would be. To have and to hold until death do them part. If the wolves didn't finish him off first that is.

Welcoming the blackness taking over his vision Teddy closed his eyes and went limp, thinking only of the red headed beauty somewhere far away in her tiny apartment with Lysander's arms wrapped around her. Except, in his vision it wasn't Lysander's arms. They were his arms his own scarred yet incredibly tanned arms. He could imagine his hair turning the same shade as Lily's to show his contentment at being with a girl he loved, he could see her head snuggling up close to his chest, her ear resting above his racing heartbeat, lulling her to sleep as he hummed a lullaby, his breath softly tickling her ear when he whispered 'I love you' in her ear, a wide grin breaking out on her face as she returned the sentiment. Heaven. That's where he wanted to be when he died. In Lily's arms, happy for the first time in years.

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	6. Chapter 6

**So after this chapter had delted it's self several different times, i got nnoyed with it and made it a filler chapter, i will work on Lily/Teddy in the next chapter, where Teddy will have a bit more of a revelation of love :) **

**for now, enjoy! **

Wiping tears from her eyes Lily stared out of her kitchen window, absently stirring her tea three times clockwise then three times counter clockwise, over and over again. She watched the leaves fall from the old oak tree in the park across from her apartment, one by one marring the green grass with golden, red and brown shades. Lily smiled absently at the picture the leaves were creating on the ground, almost like an autumnal rainbow. She could remember when she lived at home her and her brothers would run around with handfuls of leaves chasing one another to throw the bundles at each other, giggling as they went. How she missed those simple days when she was younger.

A knock at the door pulled her from her musings. Sighing she walked over and opened it revealing Molly, her cousin. Smiling brightly at Lily, Molly signed the word _'Hello'_ using her hands. Molly had always been def, ever since Lily could remember. Ironically, that made her the better listener of the group of Weasleys. Molly was always good to talk to and give advice without passing judgement. Which is why Lily had sent her an owl that morning. Stepping aside Lily signed the word back and led her to the couch.

_What's going on?_ Molly Signed.

Sighing Lily signed back. _Are you okay to read my lips?_ After a pause she added, _it's quite complicated to sign this_. Molly nodded asking her to go on. Pointing to the tea Lily asked if she wanted one before she launched into the story. Molly shook her head knowing she was just stalling. With a gentle smile she gestured again for Lily to go on.

After taking a deep breath Lily began to speak. "Okay uhm... here's the thing... I uh... I." She bit her lip looking down slightly. Molly took her chin in her hands giving her a searching look. A bright smile appeared on the young Weasley's face as she began signing excitedly, causing Lily to get a little confused at first.

_Oh my god! You LOVE Teddy! You finally realised you love him! _

"How on earth did you know that?" Lily asked, bewildered after she had managed to decode Molly's fast moving hands. Molly just shrugged with a wide smile on her face. "You creep me out sometimes, Mol. I suppose you'll want to know everything then?" Molly nodded eagerly. Lily sighed before proceeding to tell her everything that had gone on with Teddy over the past few months and the complications with Lysander and Victoire. Molly watched her lips intently, nodding every so often to show she understood what Lily was saying. Finally, the bomb was dropped. "Mol, I'm so scared. I don't know what to do!"

Molly looked confused for a moment. _What do you mean? _She signed. Lily looked down, unconsciously touching her stomach. Molly's eyes widened, noticing the tender touch on her stomach. _You're pregnant?_ Lily nodded ashamed. Saying nothing Molly grabbed her closest cousin and pulled her towards her harshly, holding her to her body and rocking her back and forth as Lily's tears fell. Molly spoke for the first time. "Lily, you need to... tell Teddy." Lily shook her head. "Yes," she said in her firmest voice.

Lily pulled back, about to reply in her firmest voice possible given the circumstances before being cut off by her father's patronus in the form of a stag. "Teddy is at Mungos. We're all here." Lily paled before quickly signing to Molly to problem at hand and grabbed her wand about to apparate away. Molly grabbed a hold of her arm and shook her head looking pointedly at her stomach. Sighing Lily nodded grabbing the floo powder and stepping into the fire only to step out of the overly sterile entrance hall to St Mungo's Wizarding Hospital.

Quickly running through the entrance hall, closely followed by Molly, Lily headed straight for the waiting room of the emergency ward where she had spent a great deal of time whilst Teddy was younger. Immediately spotting the red haired Weasley clan Lily made her way over to her father. "How is he? What happened?" she asked immediately, out of breath.

Turning to her Harry had clear tears in his eyes. "He's in bad shape right now, we think he was attacked by a pack of wolves or werewolves, we're not sure. But he managed to send a patronus to me earlier this morning, just after he transformed. It took hours to find him. When I found him he was unconscious and... it wasn't good, Lil. We're just waiting for the all clear." Lily nodded enveloping her father in a tight hug whilst trying to hold back her tears. Looking around Lily noticed one very important absentee.

"Where's Victoire?"

Looking around Harry frowned deeply. "I don't know... I thought she was here... maybe she's preparing Lucas or dropping him off with Andromeda?"

"Funny... Andromeda is here..." Frowning Harry shrugged spotting said woman. Sighing in defeat, and slightly out of anger, Lily sat down in one of the waiting room seats. Around half an hour later they were still sat in the waiting room, beginning to get shifty. All of a sudden the doors burst open and Victoire walked in with a far away look in her eyes, as though she were elsewhere, tears beginning to well up in them. Lucas was running behind her spotting Lily he ran straight up to her and jumped onto her lap. Bursting into tears the small boy with blonde locks asked softly, "What's the matter with Daddy?"

Lily looked from the small boy to the woman who was glaring at her for holding her son close to her. Rolling her eyes at Victoire Lily turned back to the small boy. "We don't know sweetie. The doctors are with him. But he will be okay. I promise." Lucas nodded his head, burying it in her shoulder, wrapping his tiny arms around her. holding him tightly Lily thought to the small boy in her arms, how good it would feel to hold her own child. Holding Lucas slightly tighter she watched Victoire's face as it slowly twisted with rage at the way Lucas clung to her. Lily glared right back, seeing straight through her fake tears and concern for her husband. She was probably happy to have a reason to be shot of him. Death would be so much less messy than divorce after all.

Clenching her teeth at the thought she looked down at Lucas again. "Lucas, sweetie, would you like to go get some milk and cookies whilst we wait for Daddy to wake up?" Lucas nodded his head slowly.

Smiling at the small boy reassuringly Lily took him out of the room, ignoring Victoire's protests that he had just eaten. After all, a waiting room was no place for a young traumatised boy. Taking him up to the cafe on the top floor she got them both some milk and a packet of cookies. Lucas took one of the chocolate chip cookies and nibbled on it slowly.

"Auntie Lily? Does Daddy love me?"

Looking down at the small boy in shock Lily felt her heart break a little at his vulnerable expression. His voice dripped with hurt and worry whilst his eyes screamed fear of rejection. Taking a hold of his shoulder and pulling him closer Lily stroked his hair softly.

"Daddy loves you more than you will ever know, Lucas. I promise you, he will not leave without a fight. He will always be there for you. I promise you." Lucas nodded his head, looking down at his hands and beginning to cry again. "Lucas, please don't cry. Daddy will be fine, I promise."

Putting his head into her shoulder again he cried softly for ten minutes before they were interrupted by Louis Weasley. "Lils, he woke up." Standing immediately Lily looked at him with questioning eyes. "He's going to be okay. A few more scars but they said he will make a full recovery." Exhaling a long low breath Lily felt all the tension leave her body.

Turning to Lucas she took his hand and helped him up. "Shall we go see Daddy?" Lucas nodded slowly, almost afraid. Kissing his head, Lily allowed Louis to lead the way to his room.

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	7. Chapter 7

**Okay so i'm pretty miffed that i had to threaten you guys to review and even more miffed that that's what it took but i am so so greateful for those reviews you gave me, they really cheered me up since i've been ill all week, but that just meant more writing time ;) JK it meant packing for uni time *rolls eyes* anyway i leave for uni in just over a week now so i'm going to try and bombard you guys with this story and hopefully finish it before i go cause i don't expect to have many more chapters to this now, possibly about four. Also, i have started a new story and i know it's not a good idea to have four different stories on the go at once :/ Check it out if you have time, it's called Lights will guide you home and is based more like the harry potter novels in that it's all about a prophecy :P **

**but, ****for now, enjoy this chapter :) expect another one in a few days! **

Seeing Teddy lying there surrounded by her family and healers was more than Lily decided she could take. After dropping off Lucas and watching as he bounded over to the bed in tears, throwing himself at his father, who seemed incredibly relaxed... almost high. Must be the pain potions. Lily had to leave the room shortly afterwards. Wiping her tears away she stood outside the door watching as various Weasleys and Potters walked in and out of the ward to see him. Molly came back outside to find her. Looking at Lily with Sympathy she signed, _it will be okay, Lily. Have faith. Tell him. _Lily smiled softly at her cousin before shaking her head.

"Not yet, Mol, I need to be sure everything is okay. That I'm not going to lose it. I don't know how he would be able to cope with that." Molly nodded in understanding, before her face suddenly lit up and she beamed, running over to the man Lily recognised at Molly's old sign language tutor. Raising her eyebrows she watched as she kissed him hard on the lips and held onto him for dear life. "Looks like I'm not the only one who needs to do some explaining," She said quietly. Of course, Darren, Molly's apparent new boyfriend, heard her as he was not deaf.

He chuckled quietly to himself before signing something to Molly so fast Lily couldn't make out what it was. Molly nodded before turning to Lily with a sheepish grin. Instead of signing she decided to use her voice. "I met him again a couple of months ago in the three broomsticks. We kinda hit it off and went from there. Mum and dad don't know yet though."

Lily nodded with a wide smile. "Well, I'm happy for you, Mol. You deserve it." She watched as Molly smiled and closed her eyes, leaning against his chest. Darren lifted her chin a little and pressed his lips to hers again. Watching the loving exchange brought tears to Lily's eyes. She seriously considered telling Teddy, just to see if he would hold her with such tenderness and finally break it off with Victoire. She then shook the thought out of her head. He wasn't going to break up with Victoire for her. After all, Victoire was his wife. Lily was just a fling. She then watched as the entire Potter Weasley clan finally came out of the room, including Victoire. Raising her eyebrows Lily noticed that Victoire looked almost annoyed that Teddy was still alive and kicking. _Bitch, _Lily thought in her head.

"Sweetheart, Teddy is asking for you," Harry told her, with a hand on her shoulder. Oh so that's why Victoire was sulky. Lily nodded before walking into the room and up the ward. Taking a seat on Teddy's bed she watched as he turned to face her with a groggy expression. Lily gasped at the amount of scars that now littered his face.

He smiled at her expression of horror sleepily. "That bad huh? I thought Victoire was joking when she said I looked ugly."

Lily's eyes filled with tears. "Oh, Ted. How dare she say that to you!" she suddenly threw her arms around him, burying her head in his shoulder.

"Well, I can safely say I'll ache when this pain potion has worn off. Brilliant thing this, y'know. It feels like I'm floating." Lily chuckled softly but pulled away a little, making sure not to touch him in case she hurt him. Teddy shook his head slowly and wrapped his good arm around her waist, his other being heavily bandaged from permanent damage. "Please, Lily, don't let go. Just hold me." Lily relented, lying down with her head resting softly on his shoulder.

"Ted I was so worried about you! Don't you EVER do that to me again. I can't bare the thought of you in pain or dead. It's hard enough to see you right now."

"Lily, the scars will heal in time, some of them I may even be able to morph over. I am just thankful that I got to spend one last moment with you." Lily shook he head and pulled away.

"No, Teddy, we can't do this anymore. I told you before, you needed to stay with Victoire and I needed to stay with Lysander. We can't happen." Teddy looked downtrodden for a moment before he opened his eyes again to look at her closely, attempting to gage her reation.

"Lily, do you know what I thought about when I was being attacked?" Lily shook her head. "I thought about you and how I wasn't ever going to get to tell you how much I love you and that I want to be with you. I didn't think about Victoire. I thought about you. I thought I was going to die and you were the first thing that came to my head. Because I wanted to die with your image, in your arms. Not Victoire's. I don't love Victoire anymore. The only reason we are together is because of Lucas. I know for a fact that she was unhappy to see me awake, I could read it in her eyes. She doesn't love me anymore and I would go as far as to say she hates me. But you... you are different. I know you don't love Lysander and I know you don't hate me. Staying with Lysander will be hard, and ditching him for me will be hard. Choose your hard Lily. One of them will make you a lot happier than the other."

"I'm sorry," she whispered softly. She leant down to kiss his head and felt tears leaking out of her eyes. "This isn't right, Teddy. Your son needs you. Please, just move on and forget about me. Please. Just let go."

"Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't want me and I will. Tell me you don't love me and I will let go forever. I promise."

Determinedly Lily looked into his eyes and whispered, "I don't want you anymore, Ted. Please, move on." Standing up quickly she ran out of the room and didn't look back to see the despair on Teddy's face. But if she had she would have, in fact, seen him grinning widely from ear to ear. She hadn't said she didn't love him, and that was all the confirmation Teddy needed. He would fight tooth an nail for her even if it mean risking upsetting Victoire. There wasn't much else the woman could do to make his life miserable anyway. He would ensure that he got visitation rights to his son, even if it meant having get his whole family to vogue for him. He would do it. But he wasn't going to pretend to Lily anymore. He was going to fight for her.

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	8. Chapter 8

** Soooo here's ther thing... you're gonna hate me after this chapter and IM SORRY but it will work out in the end! :D I PROMISE PROMISE PROMISE! for now... ima go hide behind a rock, and i will have one more chapter and an epilogue after this sooo enjoy :) **

He couldn't pretend to Lily anymore, he decided the next morning after the full moon. However many times they had slept together in drunken stupors or in distinctly euphoric happiness he had finally told her how he felt for her. Because he did feel for her. He felt the way he should feel for Victoire. The way he once did feel for Victoire. Lily meant everything to him. She was his tiny light in a pitch black tunnel that had become his life. It didn't matter that Victoire was suffocating him so much with her smothering self ever since he begged her for another chance. If it wasn't for Lucas he'd have declared it to her long ago. But he couldn't pretend. She now knew the way he felt. She knew that he had fallen head over heels in love with her. He, after all, had never been one to resist the temptation of something so decadent, so beautiful, so... forbidden. And, Merlin, he wasn't about to start now. It was just such a shame she was putting up such a fight.

What he didn't count upon was Lily avoiding him more than usual. All of a sudden she had gotten more cuddly close with Lysander. They were never more than three inches apart and talking to her had become a near impossible task. All he could hope for was two moments alone with her. Something that seemed to be getting more and more unlikely as time went on. The only time he could corner her was in her office at St Mungos. Or at least he thought, they had informed him that she had begun working from home on a research project months ago. Dejectedly he went home, back to his unloving wife and his bouncing little boy. Because really, without Lily, what else did he have to live for except Lucas?

It was not until the Potter's annual Christmas party Teddy saw Lily again to find a few precious moments alone with the bright red headed girl again. The kitchen was a quiet place during the festivities as the party was currently taking place in the ballroom. Ginny had told him to go find some more ice. It just so happened that Lily was also in the kitchen, tears falling from her prettily done up eyes, tear tracks coursing down her cheeks. Faint lines cut through the blush and powder that resided there, making her look a little like a clown. But she was a broken clown. And in Teddy's eyes she was a beautiful clown.

Forgetting about the ice for a moment he walked over to the beautiful girl leaning against the sink, a glass of firewhisky in her hand. He took the glass from her and placed it upon the nearest counter, pulling her to him as gently as he could, afraid she would pull away from him and avoid him again. As she had been doing for the last three months. Murmuring soft words of comfort in her ear he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and kissed the top of her head. She felt relaxed in his arms. His big, warm, comforting arms. He kissed her head one last time before she looked up at him with wide, doe-like eyes.

"What's wrong?" he asked softly. She shook her head, letting him know she did not want to talk about it. He frowned taking her hands in his. "Lils, please. I'm worried about you."

Sighing she whispered. "Can you take me away? Anywhere, just... not here." He nodded keeping a firm grip on her hands as he apparated out of her kitchen and back into her apartment, the oh-so-familiar surroundings now changed due to Lysander's additions, tainting, marring her personal space. He stared down at her with a worried expression as her tears came again, thick and fast.

"Lil?" She shook her head again, indicating him to not speak. Instead she opened her bag and produced a small moving black and white picture of a slightly blurred peanut. He looked at her in confusion. "You're pregnant?" Again she shook her head. His expression became distinctly more sombre as realisation dawned upon him. "You miscarried?" he whispered softly, pulling her into his chest again. "I'm so sorry, Lil. I – I don't know what to say."

For many moments Lily didn't say anything, she just buried her face in his shirt collar and sobbed softly albeit slightly hysterically. He could tell this was a new occurrence in her life and he didn't want her to feel as though she didn't have anyone to turn to. Teddy doubted her family knew of the predicament as Lily more or less kept herself to herself, rarely being expressive or indeed even sharing most of the time. So long it had taken Teddy to break through her protective barrier but now that he had he didn't ever want it to go away. He like it when Lily trusted him enough to tell him things, he wasn't about to let it go quickly.

"It was yours," she sobbed miserably into his chest. Closing his eyes against the onslaught of emotions that began to build up inside him, he held her tighter, pulling her onto his lap, rocking her back and forth slightly, like he used to do when she was small and had grazed her knee.

"I'm sorry," he whispered into her ear. "I'm so so sorry."

"It's not your fault," she whispered. "Healer said something about the lycanthropic gene being prominent. It began to spasm during the last full moon... ripped itself from the lining or something."

"I'm sorry," he whispered again, not knowing what else to say. Her eyes fell closed as she rested her head upon his shoulder, her tears slowing after a while. "How long ago did it happen?"

"I was about four months along..." she looked down at her now totally flat stomach with distain. "Lysander... he- he found out. He noticed that I was getting fatter. He thought it was his. Obviously he left me after he found out it wasn't. I – I feel so alone, Ted."

Teddy felt like his heart was shattering as he stared at the beautiful girl in his arms. He hated how much pain he had caused her. "You have me-"

"No, I don't. Victoire has you. And it sickens me to think that you have a family with her. You have the perfect life, Ted. You have the perfectly doting wife, you have a perfect son who hasn't inherited your lycanthropy, he hasn't inherited your metamorphagus gene. He's just plain Veela. Just like Victoire. I hate her. I hate that you got to be with her. I hate that you have a perfect family. I hate that I'm only good for sneaking around."

A finger to her lips effectively stopped her rant momentarily as she stared up at him, every emotion she felt stirring in her big emerald eyes. He couldn't help but marvel right then how much she looked like her grandma and namesake. Of all the pictures Harry had shown him of her, it really was remarkable how much they looked alike. Their hair was a similar shade of red, one or two shades darker than her mother's own russet curls, their eyes were exactly the same and there was something to be said for the serene way in which they dealt with most things, much unlike the famous Weasley temper.

"Did it ever occur to you that I don't like perfection?"

She scoffed at him with a roll of her eyes. "Don't be such a fucking noble git, Ted. It doesn't change the fact that you have it, and if Victoire ever gets her way, you'll keep it. You're far too much like Dad to ever think about leaving her. You have a stupid hero complex where you think you can save everyone, make everyone happy. Well you can't. I'm not going to ask you to choose because I know exactly who you'll choose and why. All I'm asking is that you stop lying to yourself and accept that you will never ever leave her because you're terrified of what she'll do to you. You may feel like you want me now, but if it really came down to it, saving me from myself or saving yourself from the possible consequences of leaving your wife, you're gonna choose you. Because there are more people to hurt. Risk of one to save the many right, Ted?" She stood holding her hand up against his protest. "Don't, Ted. I can't deal with your self-sacrificing crap anymore."

"Lily you forget that Victoire almost kicked me out, she tried to take my son from me. You forget that she doesn't actually love me and honestly, I don't love her either anymore because you know what? I never ever found anyone as perfect as you. I'm so sorry that I caused you this pain and suffering, Lily. I really am, you of all people deserve a happy ending. But what happens when Victoire finds out that I actually love you more than I have ever loved her? What happens when she decides I can't see my son anymore? Lily I would love more than anything to be able to have a child with you, I really would. But..."

She shook her head, begging him to stop. "Please, Ted. No more. I can't deal with it anymore! Don't tell me you love me then in the same breath tell me that we can't ever be together because you're too scared to leave that psychotic bitch of a wife!"

Teddy stared at her longingly, trying to get her to realise what his feelings were just by looking at her, of course, it would help if she had been looking at him instead of disappearing from his sight, yet again. He sighed, staring at the space she had been standing. She was right, of course she was right. Lily was just a distraction. Something that he shouldn't need with every fibre of his being. But he did. He had always needed her. He would never ever forget her and he vowed he would never let her go.

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	9. Chapter 9

**THANKYOU so much to those of you who put me on favourites, alerts and C2s :) you guys really do make my day. and as for those of you who have so far reviewed, well i just love you all, like seriously. So, here's the chapter you've been waiting for. just the epilogue to go, which will be up by saturday :) ENJOY**

Victoire stared at herself in the mirror. When had she become such a manipulative person? She had never thought herself vindictive, unloving or manipulative. She didn't understand what had happened to her to make her hate herself so much. No, she didn't love Teddy and she knew that Teddy didn't love her. He didn't look at her the same way her used to, and neither did she. She was in love with Jamie Finnegan.

Looking toward the sleeping boy on her bed she realised why she was being such a bitch. She was scared that Teddy would take Lucas from her if she left him. Yes, if it came down to it she would be able to have full custody of him but, is that really what she wanted? For Lucas to not have a father? For him to grow up not knowing how wonderful his real dad was to him? Teddy had grown up like that and it had affected him more than he'd like to admit. Could she really do that to Lucas?

Shaking her head she knew she couldn't. Of course she couldn't. She didn't want to lose her little boy but he deserved a father. Creeping downstairs she leant against the living room doorframe watching Teddy stare into the flames of the fire. His hair was switching from a deep fiery red to black. Then it clicked in Victoire's head. Of course he didn't love her anymore. He was in love with someone else. Someone who he thought he couldn't have so long as she was around. Much like her own situation. Walking over to him she put her hand on his shoulder, sitting beside him and staring into his eyes.

"Teddy," she said softly, her normally blonde hair getting a hint of strawberry as the flames bounced off the long locks. Teddy smiled at her softly, but she knew it was somewhat forced. Leaning over and kissing his cheek she began to speak again softly. "I think we both know that this relationship, this marriage is now over. It has been for a long time, I just think we were too scared to admit it."

Teddy stared at her, an unreadable expression on his face. When he spoke his voice sounded slightly dead. "You're leaving again?" Victoire nodded. "For good?" Again, she nodded. "A-and w-what about L-Lucas?"

Sighing she laced her fingers with his and kissed his knuckles. "I want you to take him. He deserves to know his father and you are the best father to him in the world, Ted. I just ask that you let me see him. Please. I know I was a bitch to you but... he's my son and I pray that you are not half as vindictive as I have become. Although, I would deserve anything you saw fit."

Teddy sat there looking shocked for a few moments before pulling her into a hug tightly. "Thankyou, so so much," he whispered into her hair. "I promise you, you can see him whenever you want."

"Thankyou, Ted." He nodded with a wide smile upon his face. "Now, go tell Lily exactly how much you love her. I will wait until you get home... I have to pack anyway."

Teddy shook his head. "No, I'm going to do it tomorrow, at the Potter's New Years Eve party. Cliché I know but.. I feel like I owe it to her to be romantic. Wait, how did you know I loved Lily?"

Smiling ruefully she shook her head. "I'm not as stupid as you think I am, Teddy."

Teddy nodded before going back to staring into the fire. Victoire, knowing the conversation was over, went up to bed, laying beside Lucas, holding her little boy close.

The next night Lily stood in front of the full length mirror in her room, in a jade green dress that brought out her eyes and complimented her hair perfectly with silver shoes and a silver beret in the back of her hair, holding it half up and half in curls. A soft knock sounded at her door.

"Lil?" her brother Albus asked, walking in dressed in navy dress robes. Lily turned to him, unshed tears in her eyes. "Hey, what's wrong?" he asked pulling her down onto the bed.

"This last year has been completely rubbish and I can't help but feel that the next one will be just the same if not worse." Albus looked at his sister, both concerned and confused. He made a hand gesture as if to ask her to elaborate. Lily sighed. "I fell in love with a married man and he told me he loved me back but he can't be with me because of her and she doesn't even care about him, I could tell when he was in the hospital, she didn't even care that he had been mauled!"

Albus' eyes widened. "You're in love with Teddy?" Lily nodded miserably before bursting into tears. Albus watched her, biting his lip against cursing his godbrother to the moon and back. Lily had never been this open with him, it usually took him hours to get small pieces of information from her. he couldn't tell if this was a good thing or not as it was clearly since she had realised her feelings that this change had taken place.

Wrapping an arm around his sister's shoulders he let her cry into his shoulder. Stroking her hair softly, making sure that he didn't mess it up he comforted her the best he could. After around five minutes Lily pulled away from him and looked up at him, Albus had to bite his lip in order not to laugh. Her mascara had run down her face, taking black tear tracks. Her hair was frizzy and tousled and her dress was now slightly creased.

"Come here," Albus said taking out his wand. After a few glamour and smoothing charms Lily looked good as new. He took her hand and began to lead her downstairs. "Things will work out. Lil. I promise." Lily nodded allowing Albus to lead her into the ball room.

At eleven thirty that night was when Teddy caught first sight of Lily. His heart began to beat wildly in his chest as he looked her up and down, marvelling at how the dress clung to her body yet left just enough to the imagination. Her hair cascading down around her shoulders hid her tattoo from sight. He noticed that she had cut her hair since the last time he saw her, she now had a full fringe and bangs. She looked beautiful. And apparently someone else thought so too. Teddy glared at the boy who was currently talking to her. Vaguely recalling his name as Jordan Finch- Fletchy he walked over and cut into their conversation.

"Excuse me, could I borrow her for a few moments?" Leading her away without waiting for an answer Teddy took Lily onto the dance floor and began to sway with her whilst a slow song came on. Staring down into her beautiful green eyes Teddy couldn't help but get a little distracted.

"Ted?" Lily asked, clearly annoyed that he had pulled her away from Jordan.

"Sorry, I just... I love your eyes." Lily blushed slightly but still managed to retain the fire in her eyes. Teddy sighed and began to launch into a long winded explanation. "Look Lily, I can here today to tell you that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything I've put you through. I'm sorry about the baby, I'm sorry about Victoire and I'm sorry that I hurt you. But... I also came here to tell you one last time that I love you. I love you so much it hurts unless I'm physically near you. My heart beast faster every time I see you and when I touch your skin I feel a warmth running though me and I swear, sparks fly when we kiss. And I want to be with you. Please, Lily. Please tell me you feel the same. If you don't, I'll leave you alone and I won't come back."

Lily stared at him for a long time before averting her eyes downwards. Tears began to fill her eyes once again. "Teddy, please, don't... you're not going to leave Victoire or Lucas for me. Please, stop getting my hopes up."

Putting his forefinger under her chin he tilted her head up softly. "I already have. She has gone off to be with Jamie Finnegan and she left Lucas with me. We could be a family, Lily. A real family. You just have to say yes."

Lily shook her head slowly. Teddy felt his heart sink to his shoes. She was still rejecting him?

"What do I have to do, Lily? What do I have to do to show you just how much I love you?"

Teddy became aware of the countdown to midnight beginning to take place. Lily looked up at him in the eyes before whispering, "I don't know..."

Getting fed up with the chase Teddy bent his head and kissed Lily softly, slowly building up the intensity, just as the clock struck twelve. Everyone around them began to shout 'Happy New Year' whilst little bits of red and gold confetti fell from the ceiling. Teddy was oblivious to all the cheers going on around him, some directed towards the New Year, some directed towards him and Lily but all he could think about was the electricity coursing through his lips at that moment.

Pulling back, Lily stared up into his eyes. He tucked a piece of hair behind her ear before pecking her lips again. "Just say yes, Lil. Please."

Biting her lip Lily nodded, a smile gracing her face for the first time in months. "Okay... we will give it a go." Teddy whooped and cheered in happiness, picking Lily up around the waist and twirling her around. When her feet touched the floor again Teddy caught her lips in yet another passionate kiss, leaving Lily breathless.

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	10. Chapter 10

**there we have it, it's all done now and that's it :) thankyou to everyone who reviwed, favourited, put me on alerts and C2's. it makes my day it really does so thankyou to you all. enjoy the epilogue :)**

_Five Years Later..._

"Daddy!" a little blonde boy yelled, running towards his father as soon as the door was opened. His mother smiled at him brightly, stepping forward and hugging the two of them who were locked in an embrace.

"Right, little man, you be good for daddy and don't forget your kitty again. I don't want to have to floo over tonight to give it to you," Victoire said calmly but sternly to the little blonde boy. He nodded before running off back into the house. Victoire stepped aside to let Teddy in. "How are you and Lily?" she asked with a smile.

Teddy's face instantly lit up at the thought of Lily. "We are brilliant. She's pregnant. Again. We're hoping that this might be the time when we can get through the whole nine months without... y'know." Victoire nodded sympathetically knowing the heartache they had both been through during the last few years with miscarriages. Victoire knew that it killed Teddy more than anyone would know. "How far along is she now? I know that you've known for ages. You're just waiting until the right moment."

"Almost five months. That's why we're hopeful this time. It's the longest the baby has lasted." Teddy smiled to himself again. Victoire smiled back at him knowing how happy another child would make him. At that moment Lucas came racing back into the hallway.

"I'm ready daddy!"

Teddy smiled. "C'mon then champ. Lily's very excited to see you. And I have a very big job for you to help me with."

Lucas' face became serious. "What is it? I want to help!"

Teddy chuckled. "I need you to help me make Pumpkin Pasties for Lily when she gets home from work. Will you help me?" Lucas nodded vigorously looking a little like a muggle bobblehead. "Right, say bye to your mum and then we can go."

Lucas walked back to victoire and gave her a big hug and kissed her cheek. After exchanging goodbyes and 'I love you's' they parted and Lucas ran back over to Teddy who led him over to the fireplace and back to his and Lily's house. When they fell out of the fireplace Teddy told Lucas to go wash his hands and put his things upstairs so that he could help with the pasties.

A few hours later Teddy was sitting in front of the fireplace in the living room, his head lolling from side to side, falling asleep every few seconds before snapping his head up, determined to stay awake until Lily got home. she was two hours late. He had had to put Lucas to bed already because he had fallen asleep in his arms, his teddy clutched in his tiny hands. Teddy smiled thinking of his son and how far he and Lily had come in the last five years. Lucas was now eight and thought of Lily like a second mother as well as an aunt, he and Lily had gotten married two years ago with Lucas as the Paige Boy. The pictures above the mantel documented their lives so far. On the far left was the day in which they had finally gotten together, they were kissing amongst the confetti in the picture, Teddy had a sneaking suspicion that Albus had taken the picture.

The next picture was of him and Lily dancing happily, a large diamond sparking on Lily's left hand. Her engagement ring. That was also they day they had found out she was pregnant the second time. Unfortunately she miscarried at two months. The next picture was of their wedding. They stood together under an arch of roses and lilies smiling happily and kissing every so often. That night was when they conceived their first child. This one had barely made it to six weeks before it had been miscarried. The next picture along was of the three of them at a muggle zoo on Lucas' seventh birthday. Teddy smiled remembering how excited Lucas had been that day.

Teddy was so engrossed in his musings he did not realise that Lily had gracefully stepped out of the fire. Her stomach was slightly rounded as she walked towards teddy, her healers robes hanging from her shoulders, exposing her stomach yet at the same time concealing it well. Seeing the pumpkin pasties on the table top Lily smiled brightly at her husband. She walked over to him and kissed his cheek, making him jump.

"You're in your own little world, there, Ted. You okay?" Lily asked, sitting down on his lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him softly.

"Hmm..." he asked softly, pulling back ever so slightly. "I was just thinking of us... on our wedding day, and Lucas' birthday and our engagement... everything."

Lily smiled wide. She leaned forward and kissed him softly again. He put his hands on the swell of her stomach before pulling back again and leaning down to kiss the bump. He smiled laying his head on it and closing his eyes. He pulled back a moment later a mixture of shock and awe on his face. Lily looked a little scared.

"Did they just... kick?" she asked, swallowing nervously. Teddy placed his hand back on her stomach, pressing in lightly. The baby kicked again. His eyes widened before a smile broke out on his face.

"Yes, they kicked!" Teddy looked up at lily excitedly. "Lily... maybe.. maybe we won't lose this one. I mean, they're kicking! That has to be a good sign right? Maybe this will actually work out this time."

"Teddy, we said we weren't going to get our hope up... we promised each other that we were going to wait until my third trimester."

"I know but... it's kicking!" Lily smiled down at him, loving the excited expression on his face. She leaned down and kissed him again. Before getting up and taking a pumpkin pasty form the plate. Teddy laughed at her softly. "Still craving them then?" Lily nodded her mouth full of food. She hit him on the arm before taking another huge bite. "Slow down, Lils, you'll give yourself heartburn again."

"Will not," she said sticking her tongue but slowing down never the less. Teddy just chuckled watching her. After finishing her first pasty she sighed in happiness, taking one more from the plate before settling down on Teddy's lap, her head against the arm of the couch and her legs stretched out. Teddy ran his hands over her thighs and her stomach. Lily just smiled. "Teddy," she asked softly. "Do you love me?"

Teddy looked at her, his brows furrowed. "Why do you ask that? Of course I love you, Lils. You're my wife."

"Victoire was your wife too..." she trailed off looking away. Teddy sighed, her hormones were probably over the place. "I just mean... you loved Victoire but you got with me and I'm getting fat... and it's only going to get worse." By the end of her musings there were unshed tears in her eyes.

Teddy frowned again. "Lily, you are not getting fat. You are pregnant and you are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, especially whilst pregnant. Yes, I loved Victoire, but not half as much as I love you. You are my soul mate, Lils. Like I've said to you every time we've gotten pregnant, it's okay if it doesn't work out because we have each other. I will never stop loving you, Lily. I promise you."

Lily nodded seemingly happy with the response. She closed her eyes again and continued eating the pasty, some crumbs falling onto her robes. "I'm so tired, that shift was horrible."

"C'mon, let's go to bed if you're tired." He pulled her up at the waist, making sure she was stable before putting his arms under her legs and lower back and picking her up. Squealing Lily wrapped her arms around his neck and put her head in the crook of his neck. He kissed her on the head before taking her up the stairs and into her bedroom. He sat her down on the bed before pushing her healer robes off her shoulders and lifting her scrubs up over her head. "I love you, Lily," he said as he pulled the last of her things off her body and kissed her softly.

"I love you too," she replied, wrapping her arms around his neck. He pulled off his clothes, leaving himself in his boxers before hopping onto the bed, pulling Lily down with him, kissing her passionately all the way. "Don't forget the silencing and locking charms again," she chuckled, reminding him of the time Lucas had accidently walked in on them.

Four months later Lily was sat in her hospital room in St Mungo's holding a beautiful little baby girl in her arms. Teddy was sat on the bed beside her, admiring his little girl. "What shall we name her?" he asked softly.

"Hope... Hope Nymphadora Lupin." Teddy wrinkled his nose a little at his mother's name before smiling.

"I love it." He leant down and kissed her softly before kissing Hope on the head. His life felt complete for the first time in his life.

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